I would be remiss to not let you know how my relationship counseling has been influenced as a follower of Christ. There are certain biblical principles that I seek to live by—not that I live by them perfectly, but I depend on God’s grace to make up for my weakness. I believe these principles to be foundational for relational health.
GENERAL PRINCIPLES
- I am not the center of the universe. God is. (Acts 17: 24, 25, 28; Romans 11:36; Revelation 4:11)
- God created me as a unique individual with a purpose in mind. (Psalm 139: 13-18; Ephesians 2: 10; Colossians 1: 10)
- My life on earth is short but valuable. (Hebrews 11: 13-16; Ephesians 5: 15-17; James 4: 14-15; Psalm 39: 4; I Corinthians 13: 12)
- God provided moral absolutes and guidelines for our benefit. (Exodus 20: 3-17; 2 Timothy 3: 16; John 15:10)
- What we feed our mind has influence on our behavior. (2 Corinthians 10: 5; Romans 12: 2; Philippians 4: 8; Colossians 3: 2; Matthew 15: 19)
- The goal of every believer is to become more like Christ. (Philippians 2: 5; 2 Corinthians 3: 18; Romans 8: 29)
- Jesus was the embodiment of grace and truth. (John 1: 14)
- God works in the midst of our struggles. (Romans 8: 28; I Corinthians 12: 9-10; Romans 5: 3-5; 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9, 16-18; Psalm 34: 17-18; James 1: 2-14; 2 Corinthians 1: 3-6)
RELATIONAL PRINCIPLES (These apply to marriage relationships as a subset of all relationships)
- People are meant to be in relationship. (Genesis 2: 18; Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12; Hebrews 10: 24-25; Romans 12: 4-5)
- Love is a verb. (John 13: 34-35; I Corinthians 13: 4-7; James 1: 22-25)
- When we operating under the control of the Holy Spirit, we will exhibit his fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-contol (Galatians 5: 22-23)
a. “Encourage one another and build each other up” (I Thessalonians 5: 9-11, Hebrews 3: 13)
b. “Confess your faults to one another & pray for one another” (James 5: 16)
c. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4: 32)
For more comprehensive list click on this link: www.smallgroupchurches.com/the-59-one-anothers-of-the-bible/
CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES
- Admit and work on what I’m doing wrong before I speak to another about their wrong (Matthew 7: 4-5)
- When approaching a person about their wrong, use a spirit of gentleness and humility with the goal toward the other person’s good (Galatians 6: 1)
- When there is a problem between me and another person, it is my job to seek reconciliation, whether it was their sin or mine (Matthew 5: 23-24; Matthew 18: 15)
- Sometimes it becomes necessary to take others along with you if speaking privately is not effective (Matthew 18: 16)
- Forgiveness does not necessitate reconciliation. Repentance from the injurer is necessary for reconciliation and healing of a relationship. (Matthew 7: 16; Matthew 3: 8, Ephesians 5: 6-7)