A while back as I was reading the story of David in the Bible, I found myself noticing a biblical principle in how David handled an unsafe relationship.   In the realm of Christian relationships, I have seen many Christian women putting up with risky, harmful situations under the guise of being submissive wives to husbands asserting their authority as “head of the house”. 

The following is the story of how one who was under the authority of another, reacted when he was put in harm’s way by that authority figure.   


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​As a recovering co-dependent, I know what it’s like to feel the feelings of others more intensely than I feel my own.  I had become an expert in pleasing others.  It wasn’t until about ten years ago, I learned the value of having a strong sense of self.  I also realized the disservice I had done to those I knew by not truly interacting with my authentic self.  But how could I? When I didn’t know who I was.  
 
When I first began my career as a counselor, I re-watched the 1999 movie, Runaway Bride, and saw it with new eyes.  I always liked the movie, but I have come to see the movie as personifying the “Being Known” vision of my counseling practice.  

​Becoming more emotionally aware of one’s own feelings is one of the first steps to becoming known.  Many people seem to be on a quest for happiness, not realizing the importance of identifying  and experiencing  the many other feelings that pass through our “self” on any given day.  A few years ago the cartoon movie, “Inside Out”, came out and though it was supposedly a kids’ movie, I found myself identifying many lessons adults can learn about the unseen element of our emotions.

A few years ago, Clay Scroggins, brought a message at North Point Community Church entitled "The Empathy Lens" as part of a series called "Bad Blood".  He referenced Romans 12: 18--"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  He talked about how a professional golfer not only analyzes a putt from the putter’s side of the hole but also gets the perspective from the other side of the hole.  Likewise, when making peace in a relational conflict, it is imperative to view the conflict from the other person’s side.  Clay referred to Brene Brown’s TED talk in which she listed the following four qualities of empathy:  1.  Taking on the other’s perspective as truth 2.  Suspending your judgment 3.  Recognizing their emotion 4.  Communicating that emotion

Having many positive experience together as a couple can help overcome  the many obstacles that can sometimes leave a couple wondering  if this relationship is worth the effort 

I have had the privilege of seeing some really good marriages over my many years of life.  I wanted to take the opportunity to acknowledge these and the qualities I noticed in these special relationships.